Are you done now?

So as active treatment comes to an end, this is now the big question I often get asked.

'Are you done now?'

The truth is, I'll never be 'done'.

Cancer is far too complex to just simply disappear out of my life.

With my type of cancer being esotrogen driven it will forever be a minefield to navigate through. For the next 10 years I will continue to be on hormone therapy, with delightful menopausal side effects.

Trying to adjust to this being my new 'normal' is going to be a long bumpy road.

And this strange feeling after your life goes from being consumed by hopsitals to suddenly nothing, to then have to suddenly start re-building your life again. It's hard accepting that you can't ever go back to the 'old you' but have to start learning who the new you will be. Because Cancer changes every aspect of your life, all of the little things become big things, what you take for granted change and your outlook on life shifts.

My lovely counsellor gave me this quote above to read in one of our sessions towards the end and it really resonated with me.

And so I know this question comes from a good place, but it's one I've really struggled with. Maybe because I feel like it's so hard to explain the answer, maybe because it makes me feel isolated and alone having experienced this so young or maybe because I wish the answer was simply 'yes' and that would make everything so much easier.