Tamoxifen

19th January 2023

Today marks the first day of starting my final part of my treatment plan. Tamoxifen.

The part I feel most apprehensive about. Maybe because my oncologist wants me to be on this for the next 10 years. A scary amount of time. Maybe because it’s a constant daily reminder that it’s not all over. Or maybe because it’s such a controversial drug, with a mile long list of more possible horrible side effects.

I’ve tried to stay open minded before starting all of my treatments as everyone can have a completely different experience but this one is hard not to fear.

As my breast cancer is oestrogen positive, Tamoxifen works by blocking the oestrogen receptors. It stops oestrogen from telling the cancer cells to grow. Sounds straight forward right, but why do so many people decide against it?

A UK study showed only 1 in 7 women offered Tamoxifen decided to take it. This niggles at me, but so does the risk of not taking it.

This week has felt heavy, talking to my oncologist about statistics of reoccurrence rates and having hard conversations that no one wants to have, are terrifying.

Whilst I’m grateful that I do have options it’s still incredibly hard. There’s no right or wrong path, it’s all so complex with so many huge decisions that we are forced to make after joining this club.

As I’m already feeling side effects from being put in the menopause and with my emotions all over the place it’s now daunting to throw another drug on top. Both the physical and mental impact of every treatment are hard to adjust too. While trying to navigate through a change of not ‘feeling like me’, I’m now going to throw myself into another unknown.

So here it goes…